If I Leave Nothing Else Behind

Tonight the house is quiet. Everyone is sound asleep except for me, and here I am with a mind that never seems to rest.

These are the hours I think about my children the most.

I wonder if they truly know how much I love them. I wonder if one day they will understand every sacrifice that was made in silence. The nights I went without sleep. The days I carried stress so heavy it could have crushed me. The tears I cried where no one could see. The times I smiled while falling apart inside—just so they would still feel safe.

I hope they know none of it was ever a burden. They were always the blessing.

I hope they know they can call me no matter what. No mistake too big. No mess too complicated. No shame too heavy. I pray they always know their momma would come running, no questions asked.

I hope when I am gone, they remember more laughter than struggle. More love than pain. More warmth than worry.

I hope they remember the little things… the smell of fresh cut grass, the sunshine after a storm, the sound of birds early in the morning, the cool breeze that comes out of nowhere. I hope when life gets heavy, they look up at the stars and think of me.

I hope they always speak how they feel—but never in anger. Angry words can leave scars that apologies cannot always heal.

I hope they stand up for people who cannot stand up for themselves.

I hope they stay kind in a world that can be cruel, because sometimes a smile, a hug, or one moment of compassion can be the reason someone chooses to stay another day.

I hope they wake up every morning wanting to be better than they were yesterday. I hope they tell the truth even when it’s hard. I hope they never wait too late to say “I love you” to the people who matter most.

I hope they each find a friend like I have—one that stays when life gets ugly, loves them through the broken pieces, answers the phone when the world is falling apart, and becomes family by choice.

But more than anything…

I hope one day they look back and say our momma was strong.

She loved us even when life was hurting her.
She made things happen when she had no idea how she would do it.
She fought battles we never knew about.
She protected us when she was exhausted.
She gave us the best parts of herself, even on the days she felt empty.
She was our voice when we didn’t have one.
She showed up every single time.

And if I leave nothing else behind in this world…

I pray I leave children who always knew they were loved beyond measure by their mother.